I'm going to start writing a book

Kids in general say really funny things, but I feel like English Language Learners say even funnier things... and most of the time they don't even realize it.

Me: "When a man is married to a woman, he has a wife. What does the woman have when she is married?"
Boy 1: "Children!"
Boy 2: "Baby! Lots of baby."
--True, I guess....?

Girl 1: "Miss, I see cock-a-roach in the classroom today."
Me: "What?! Where is it?"
Girl 1: "I don't know... I see it this morning."
20 minutes later:
Boy: "Miss, I see the cucaracha!"
All students: *sing* "La cuca-ra-CHA! La cuca-ra-CHA!" ... etc.
--The girl told me that they sang to make me feel better because they all know how much I hate cockroaches! I think it will be a tradition, haha.

Me: "Tell me about a special person in your life."
Girl: "I-Carly... because she talks like you, Miss!" [I-Carly is a Disney show]
Me: "No, I mean someone that you know. Like someone in your family or a friend."
Girl: "I know her! I see her on TV all the time."
Me: "Ok, but you can't talk to her or play with her."
Girl: *pauses* "But, Miss, I have a Build-a-Bear that sings the I-Carly song!! And so it is the same."
--Eventually I helped her make a list of her friends and she wrote about that, though I think she has convinced herself that she is friends with I-Carly.

Me: "In Spanish, to ask 'Can I go to the bathroom' is 'Puedo ir al bano?' To say 'I can go to the bathroom' is 'Puedo ir al bano.' So in Spanish, they are the same, but in English we have to change the first two words around to make it a question.
Boy: "Miss, can you say the Spanish again?"
Me: "Puedo ir al bano?"
All students: *laughing hysterically*
Me: *laughing* "What? That's how you say it, isn't it?"
Girl: "But it's SO funny when you say it!"
Girl 2: *glares at the class* "Hey, STOP it! Miss Van try really hard and she don't know she can't say it right."
--Since then they have begged me to say things in Spanish! At least this opened up a nice conversation to talk about accents and how people who speak different languages have them, etc. However it was very sweet of that girl to stand up for me and my inherent gringa-ness! :)